


how many likes is my life worth

by dankobah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Iceland, Social Media, based on a twitter fic, commentary youtuber!ben, travel vlogger!rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-22 22:27:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23568043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dankobah/pseuds/dankobah
Summary: Rey doesn’t buy her own flights.  That’s the first red flag. What she’s illuminated to him after his long nights of questions is that she usually gets her sponsors to pay for her and her crew’s airfare on top of the cash she gets for the product placement or advert at the beginning of the video.Then she comes home to LA the night before.  He thought she was leaving from Australia originally, but his sense still doesn't spike.  He just continues to pack his suitcases after seeing the Instagram story of a billboard in LAX and the location marker.What he does do is worry.
Relationships: Jannah/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 36
Kudos: 60





	1. and who do you call when it's late at night

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! before you continue, make sure you read [how many likes is my life worth](https://twitter.com/dankobah/status/1120011946831405057?s=20) on twitter to understand what's going on! thanks!
> 
> tags  
> rough sex  
> spanking  
> traveling  
> xanax use (for travel anxiety)  
> alcohol consumption

The month rolls by and his AdSense hits in time to ball out in Iceland. Sure, he makes a decent amount of money for someone who’s twenty-nine but always having an emergency stash when you travel is nice.

He doesn’t want to be like one of the dumbshits he offers commentary on.

Though he should’ve known something was up when she asked for his flight info so far in advance. She justified it with,  _ “Trying to buy my flight too.”  _

Rey doesn’t buy her own flights. That’s the first red flag. What she’s illuminated to him after his long nights of questions is that she usually gets her sponsors to pay for her and her crew’s airfare on top of the cash she gets for the product placement or advert at the beginning of the video. 

Then she comes home to LA the night before. He thought she was leaving from Australia originally, but his sense still doesn't spike. He just continues to pack his suitcases after seeing the Instagram story of a billboard in LAX and the location marker. 

What he does do is worry.

How the hell is he going to get on a plane tomorrow? He didn’t bother going to his doctor and asking for any prescriptions, and now he regrets it. Flying is something that terrifies the living shit out of him. All the anxieties about the plane going down, of having to disarm a hijacker, not being able to say goodbye to his mother one last time make his skin crawl.

He stares up at the ceiling, his flight in only six hours. He can’t sleep. 

Rolling onto his side, he stares at the alarm clock before grabbing his phone. He unlocks it and keeps it on do not disturb. What he does is call Rey, holding the phone up while on speaker. It rings.

It keeps ringing and he contemplates hanging up. She answers though, with a breathy and sleepy, “Ben?”

“Sorry to wake you. I just-”

_ I guess I’m worried about accidentally being an asshole to you. _

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

She softly sighs and he says, “I can hang up if you want.” 

“No, no. Don’t.” He can hear the sheets shift and he wonders what her apartment looks like. 

She whispers, “Your flight leaves in six hours.” 

He laughs, “Yeah. Hopefully, I’ll sleep deprive myself enough to just pass out and get over the anxiety.” Sure, his crippling anxiety isn’t funny but laughter makes everything a little easier.

Rey doesn’t laugh. She instead replies, “I think you’re going to be okay. Call it a sixth sense.” 

He changes the subject quickly before he gets in a needless argument with her, “So who’s this trip sponsored by?”

She says, “Canon.”

Ben is impressed with the breadth of that sponsorship. “Very good. The best I’ve gotten is Seatgeek. Audible was my first.”

She remarks, “Finn is really excited about this.”

Oh yeah. All her friends are going on this trip. Poe even got in on the action, along with two other girls Ben has seen in her older at home vlogs. Ben hates this timeline but he knows that in order to do anything with Rey, he probably has to tolerate her friends.

He says, “I bet he is, baby.”

Rey asks, “Why don’t you try going to sleep? I’ll stay on the phone with you.” 

Ben grumbles, “I guess.” He doesn’t know what else to talk about and Rey seems to tell. 

He shuts his eyes, evening out his breathing and trying to slate his mind. “Tell me a story. I’m sorry if I fall asleep to it, I just like the sound of your voice.”

He can hear her smile, “Okay.”

Then she starts, “One time in the Dominican Republic-”

* * *

Rey didn’t tell him she was switching her flight to his.

The idea came to her in Australia, after a night of sexting. Ben has mega anxiety about planes and Rey thinks, believes actually, that if she’s with him she can keep him calm.

Maybe that’s daft but she wants him to be okay. If she can do anything, she will.

Not to mention the prescription Xanax that Poe has for his own anxieties that he’s already expressed he would give Ben one if things got crazy. Rey’s thankful that Poe likes Ben and knows him well. Finn is not so fond of him, and Rey still hasn’t told him about her and Ben’s rendezvous.

She has to tell him eventually and she’s not looking forward to it. Rose and Jannah are approving of her happiness usually and she figures if Ben keeps the snark to as low as he can comfortably go, they’ll be peachy keen.

They all meet up at LAX, and Rey is the first to arrive near the American Airlines check-in desk. She’s exhausted, having been on the phone with Ben for a total of an hour and a half just telling him stories. For late-night calls, that’s long.

She uses their kiosk to check her bags, bringing two suitcases and a backpack. She checks both suitcases and takes both baggage claim tickets to stuff them in her wallet. Then she gets out her phone and sees a text from Ben. 

Rey specifically asked him to text her when he arrived at the airport so she could “be sure he didn’t chicken out of his flight”. In reality, she wants to surprise him. 

* * *

| Ben - 6:18 AM |

Just arrived. Checking in now

* * *

Rey squeals to herself and looks around busy LAX. She’s scanning everyone who comes in, looking at their faces and weeding them out as  _ not Ben. _

Then she spots him.

He’s wearing a black sweater, sweats, and sneakers. A leather jacket sits on his shoulders, Raybans on his aquiline and rather large nose. What she would give to kiss his nose right about now. 

He doesn’t see her at first but she keeps staring straight at him. Then he stops in his tracks, staring her down. She can’t help but smile wide and he comes rushing towards her, pulling her into his arms. Rey buries her face into his shoulder while giggling, and he sways back and forth with her like the tides.

He lets her unwind to hold her at arm’s length. “You-”

She says, “We’re taking the same flight.”

He asks, “Are we?” She nods.

“Why did you think I asked you for exact details dummy?”

He scoffs, “Well then, I guess my plan to hunker down in first class with a whiskey and coke is shot.” 

“Oh, I won’t ruin that. If you need a whiskey and coke to get through this shit, you need one.” Ben walks past her and begins to check in his bag. Rey doesn’t bother interrupting him, watching for Finn and everyone else.

“So do your friends know?”

Rey hums to avoid the subject. God, she might as well tell them as they arrive but there’s no easy way to say  _ “hey, I’m sexting the guy who roasted me in three videos” _ . 

She’ll tell them in the Airbnb that night, settled in the beauty of the outskirts of Reykjavik. Or maybe she’ll get away with not telling them. 

Speaking of her friends, she sees Poe enter the airport. He’s toting a backpack and a duffle bag and bounds up to them. 

“Hey lovebirds.” 

Ben says, “Don’t be so loud.” Rey hugs Poe tight. 

Poe rolls his eyes. “Oh come on. You act like people aren’t going to know by the end of the trip and the video from the trip that you two are together.”

Rey says quietly, “It’ll be fine. Got any bags to check?” 

Poe gestures to his duffle bag. “Finn has two suitcases last I heard.” 

“He’s got all the camera shit, no wonder.” 

Ben is playing with his hands and Rey nudges him, offering a smile. Then she says, “What snack is your favorite?” 

“Chex Mix. Why?” 

Rey says with a big smile, “I’m buying you some when we get past security.”

Ben looks overwhelmed.

She can’t wait for the rest of this trip.

* * *

First class is cushy beyond belief. 

Ben didn’t expect the seat to be one large pod, encompassing Rey’s seat right next to his. Rey adjusts like she knows the name of the game, stowing her bag next to his.

Then she adjusts in her seat, clicking her belt and looking over at him with a wide grin. “You can lay these back if you ever want to sleep. They also give you hot towels and mints.”

Poe cracks his knuckles across the aisle and Ben glares at him, hating the noise. People board past them, lugging on carry on bags and other items. There’s even a dog that comes trotting through, a pretty Pomeranian with a pink service dog vest on.

Ben then looks at Rey, who’s watching out the window at the workers loading the plane with checked bags. He says, “So, you wouldn’t blame me for grasping your hand tight when this thing takes off?” 

“God no.” His hands intertwine with hers and their fingers lace together. 

He doesn’t want to let go and he doesn’t plan on it. Refocusing on the TV screen in front of his seat, he leans forward and begins tapping through the selection of the movies. “Do you want to watch a movie together?” 

“If it’ll distract you, sure.” Ben nods and scrolls through, seeing the newest Galaxy Wars film. 

Rey refocuses on her phone as she’s typing out an email. People keep passing by, boarding the large plane. Ben leans over the aisle in a lull in people, asking Poe, “Can you drink on Xanax?” 

“Not a good idea. But if you really think you’re going to blow, I’ll give you one.” 

Ben nods and Poe reaches into his backpack as Ben leans back over. Rey is watching the two of them and she asks, “Taking a Xanax?” 

He nods and she rubs his shoulder. “You’re okay. I promise.” There’s no judgement in her eyes or disgust for needing extra aid for an anxiety trigger. He knows without something to suppress the panic building inside as the last few people funnel onto the plane. Flight attendants begin doing checks in first class, and Poe leans over and hands him the pill. 

“Only one. You don’t know how you’re gonna react.” Ben nods and swallows it with some water, then sitting back and nodding at the flight attendant. She puts her phone away and cuddles up close to him as the safety briefing turns on their screens.

Rey watches hers while he just keeps his eyes trained on her face. The plane begins to move and the xanax hasn’t kicked in and he’s not ready. “Baby?”

It’s from her lips and he refocuses on her. “I’m here. I promise.”

Somehow, that’s reassuring and he screws his eyes shut, bumps of the tarmac jostling the plane every so often. What if they blow up? What if this is the last time he’ll ever see anything?

The plane begins to speed up and he keeps his eyes shut, and suddenly a lead weight smacks him in the forehead and waves of chemical calm do their job in loosening his tense body. His eyes flutter open and everything feels….slower. Not quite up to normal speed, and he looks down at his hands.

No double vision, just heavy eyes like that one time he got high. Poe says from across the aisle, “It definitely hit, he should be freaking out way more.” 

Rey grabs either side of his cheeks to turn his head to her, looking up at him with big doe eyes. She smiles, “Happy?” 

He shrugs, unable to really think many thoughts besides how pretty she looks. Rey purses her lips and then says, “I assume you’re tongue tied for reasons. But you’ll tell me if you need something right?” 

He nods, taking a deep breath and laying his head back against the seat again and shutting his eyes.

As long as he can stay calm as this, everything should be a piece of cake.

* * *

Rey can’t sleep.

Her body is so fucked up on time zones that she gets two hours while laying her head on Ben’s shoulder. After that, she starts editing the rest of the Australia footage. She usually edits a rough cut and lets her editor, a girl named Kaydel, do the rest of the magic like adding in extra clips or slow motion, or zoom-ins that make moments funnier for some indiscernible reason. 

Ben wakes up about five hours into the flight, with a start that makes her grab his hand to soothe him. He breathes hard and she leans over and kisses his cheek, the first class cabin mostly dark except for a few reading lights. Poe and Finn are asleep, Rose and Jannah kicking it in business class since they didn’t want to splash for first. It’s just them for this moment.

She inquires, “Nightmare?”

He nods his head and shakes his hair out, combing through it with his fingers while looking over at her. Ben then mumbles, “Don't worry about me."

She admits, “Hard not to.” He snorts and rubs his jaw, then refocusing on the screen before spying the coke can and two whiskey shooters next to his elbow. 

“Fuck yeah, thanks.” He picks up the fresh cup of ice next to it and dumps in the shooters, mixing the shooters in with it and taking a sip.

He licks residual soda from his lips and then says, “Yum.”

Rey smiles to herself, already having drunk a gin and tonic earlier. She knows she could just ask for another one but she wants to be coherent for him. Ben takes another sip and says, “So, what have you done while I was in a Xanax coma?”

She divulges, “Some editing, listened to a bit of your podcast.”

“I would love to have you sometime, you know.”

She cocks her head in thought and allows, “Maybe. I don’t think your demographic would like me.”

He asks, “What are you talking about? They’d love you.”

She shakes her head. The amount of hate she got after his videos was intense, having to disable comments on a few videos. She doesn’t blame him for it, given he did say not to go attack her in the video and also didn’t name the exact video he took his clips from. People still found it and left mean shit. 

People are just horrible, that’s the name of the online game.

She sighs and takes a long moment to kiss each of his knuckles. 

“I don’t think so, but I’ll do anything you tell me, Ben.”

* * *

Ben doesn’t know how he’s alive. 

Truly, he doesn’t know how all the crippling anxiety could remain in his body for that entire flight, only departing when the plane stopped on the tarmac. Rey’s hand unwinds when he visibly lets out a breath and she doesn’t bother getting up. 

Poe looks across the aisle at them, sitting next to Finn. Rose and Jannah are behind them. Rey is on her phone, futilely trying to check emails despite the plane wifi being off. He reaches over, subtly, to hold her other hand. Her head leans onto his shoulder and he whispers, “So sleeping arrangements?”  _ More like,  _ he wants to laugh to himself,  _ sex arrangements.  _

It’s no secret to himself that he’s going to find a way to fuck Rey on this trip. Even if it ends up being shower sex or closet sex, he wants to make her come in a foreign country. “There are three queen beds. I...I should confess I haven’t exactly told them anything yet. Especially Finn.”

Ben swallows down his rising anxiety and she continues, “I will tell him when we get there. Just over a lot of liquor. Speaking of which, Poe is going to do a strafing run through duty-free for liquor for us.” He cocks his head.

She explains, “Liquor stores are state-controlled and it’s not open yet.”

Ben asks, “What time is it here?”

She answers before he can check his phone, “About seven in the morning.”

He nods and shuts his eyes, eventually feeling Rey nudge him to get up and move down the aisle and off the plane. Poe goes in front of the group, having been to Iceland before and knowing the way to get them to duty-free and then to customs. Rey walks beside him at the airport, and Poe leads them into the massive duty-free shop near their gate. 

It’s a mecca of food, cosmetics, liquor, and more. Rey smiles up at him and she says, “You look exhausted.”

He nods, “I am.” He blindly grabs a bottle of Jack Daniels, the only American whiskey available in duty-free. He can sip it straight if he’s so inclined.

Rey picks out a case of Icelandic beer, along with a bottle of vodka. 

He raises his brows and she shrugs, “Gotta survive somehow.”

* * *

Their Airbnb is a loft in Reykjavik, and Poe parks the car in the designated parking space. They’re in a Land Rover Discovery and Ben can rent a car as well, unlike Rey and her friends, but he assumed Poe dealt with it because Rey begged him to. 

They let him sit in the passenger seat while Rey shoves between Finn and Rose. Poe drives and Jannah sits all the way in the back where she’s stretched out.

They all get out and unload their luggage, Rey having two pieces. Ben brought only one large and basic black suitcase. Rey’s is a sandy tan, and she also has a medium-sized blue and grey Adidas duffle. Overall, she knows how to travel and she’s looking at the Airbnb instructions as they all make their way into the building and up to the loft.

Rey opens the door and Ben enters first, spying a large sectional couch with his name on it. He puts his bag near the stairs to go up to the next loft level. The overall aura of the room is airy and light, trendy decor with modern touches. He walks to the couch and flops down on it, sighing in relief as he realizes it’s probably the squishiest couch he’s been on. 

Rey walks around to look at the first level, pushing a chic barn door aside to peek into the bedroom.

Poe says, “So, sleeping arrangements.”

Rey starts, “Ben can-”

Finn asks, “Rey you’ll be my roomie right?” Ben sits up and stares pleadingly at Rey. He didn’t come on this trip to sleep next to Poe Dameron; he came for her. 

All of her.

Rey begins gently, “Since Ben doesn’t have a ton of friends on this trip-”

Finn interrupts, “He can sleep with Poe. I thought you two were all buddy-buddy anyway.” 

Ben looks to Poe, and Poe seems to get what Rey’s trying to do. He’s just not subtle, “I think Rey and Ben want to be in the same room.”

Rose and Jannah look between Ben and Rey, Poe cracking his knuckles. Finn is frozen, staring Rey down. “Wait…” he looks to Ben then, “no, you two couldn’t be.”

Rey asks, “Couldn’t be what?”

Ben stands up and his anxiety from the plane comes back in a tsunami-like wave that has him spying the balcony and walking towards it. Rey says, “Can Ben and I just be in the same room? I don’t see why this is becoming such a thing.” 

“I mean I don’t see why you’re not just honest-”

He walks out onto the balcony and slams the french door behind him, cutting the argument off and listening to the quiet sounds of the wind blowing through the city. His eyes shut and he breathes in the fresh air, then looking off towards the Faxaflói bay. 

Esja Mountain also sits high and proud on the horizon, topped with snow despite it being June. It’s only fifty or so degrees and his coat that he put on is thick enough to overheat him. Or perhaps it’s the impending anxiety attack. Either way, he’s shedding his jacket and breathing hard as he lays his forehead on the balcony railing. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s out there but she comes out. He can tell by the smell of her fading perfume, vanilla and cypress trees with a bit of patchouli. Picking his head back up, he starts before she can, “I’m sorry I ditched. I just knew that was going to get ugly towards me.”

Rey nods, “It’s okay. Poe de-escalated him and promised him face masks later if he stays in his room. So uh-”

She smiles briefly, “Hi roomie. Do you snore?”

Ben nods, embarrassed. She says, “That’s okay, I bring earplugs everywhere I travel.” Smart girl. 

He then questions, “So what’s on the agenda for the day?”

Rey mumbles, “Well, everyone is unpacking. I figured you might want to as well. Then I think a lot of us are going to try to keep awake all day so we can reset our bodies. To be honest, my body thinks it’s still Australia time.”

Ben says, “I’m exhausted. I don’t know if I’ll make it.” If he can’t sleep tonight then he’ll just edit. He’s got plenty to edit as usual, including the podcast. This is the first time he’s taken a week off of the podcast and he hopes the Patreon crowd won’t skin them alive. It’s impossible to record with Hux when he’s this far and he made it a point not to pack his equipment so he wouldn’t try.

This trip is about spending time with Rey, getting to know her in and out and pleasing her like a fine Empress. “I’ll keep you awake, trust me. I can make you some coffee?”

He says, “I would like that.” They re-enter the house and Ben follows her to the small and open concept kitchen. Everyone has vacated the living room and Ben notices his suitcase is missing.

Rey explains, “I took it to our room. Hope you don’t mind.” She removes a pack of instant coffee from the cabinet and fills the electric kettle. He comes up close behind her and she turns around while shaking the pack of instant coffee. 

Looking up at him, her smile is big. He can’t help but smile too and he asks, “Am I allowed to give you a kiss?” They didn’t get to at the airport and his lips are particularly tingly and needy for hers. 

She nods and he leans down, pecking her quickly and chastely in fear that someone could come downstairs. Rey beams and she pecks him again before he can lean back up. “I’ve been wanting to do that for ages you know. I touched myself over it one time.” 

He quirks an eyebrow and she clarifies, “You kissing me. Is that crazy?”

He shakes his head and allows, “No because that’s flattering.”

The kettle clicks off and she gets out a mug. “We don’t have creamer, but we do have sugar.”

He mumbles, “Thankfully I take it black.” She dumps the pack of coffee in and stirs it with a spoon before handing it to him. He takes a swig and it tastes awful, but he manages not to make too much of a face.

Rey peers at him and he says, “Maybe some sugar will help.” She hands him the sugar packets and he dumps it in, swirling the spoon once more. Rey walks away from him and disappears into a room. He follows behind, seeing it’s the bedroom she was peering in earlier. His suitcase is against the wall, the floor polished concrete. The bed is a queen, and he knows he’s going to have an excuse to cozy up to her.

He sits on the bed while she unzips her duffle, beginning to take out clothes. Ben takes another long drink of his coffee, before setting it on a side table. Rey smiles to herself as he goes to his own suitcase, unzipping it and then she says something that blows his world out of orbit.

“You know, I haven’t come in a month.”

Ben looks at her and she bites her lip. He remembers when he told her she couldn’t come on the plane, but he didn’t think she’d listen to him. He’s gobsmacked, “Excuse me?”

Then he asks, “Does that mean you never watched the final video about you?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. I will after you make me come today, you said I needed to come before I did. And I haven’t so…” She sways slightly as she puts things in the chest of drawers. 

He says, “You can’t just tell me that and go back to what you’re doing.” She snorts.

“I can and will,” she puts away more clothes, “...unless you want to do something.” Does he ever.

Ben freezes up, however, and she watches him, concern flashing across her features. Then he says, “Sorry it’s been a bit and I’m not sure where you want me to start.”

She mumbles, “You don’t have to-”

“I want to.” He tries not to sound utterly desperate as he then whispers while extending his hand, “Please?” 

Rey stops unpacking and she stares him down, maybe attempting to call a bluff. There’s nothing to call; he wants her more than oxygen. Especially after two or three months of back and forth videos and DMs. He repeats, “Please.” 

Then he bites down on his lip and gnaws while she steps up to him. She reaches up and feels along his jaw, which now has stubble. “I think we should unpack first. Not because I don’t want to do something with you, but because you look a little anxious right now.”

That’s valid and he can’t help but nod.

* * *

Time passes quickly. 

Between getting groceries delivered to planning out content to grab for Canon, it’s around seven PM after a delicious pasta meal by Jannah that they had to film. She’s an expert home cook, having her own small Youtube channel where she makes recipes easy and fun. 

If Rey was home more, she’d try some out. Eating them by her hand is also great too, and Ben still looks exhausted despite his long nap. They had slept together for at least two hours, and then Ben slept about four more on his own. Then he had hung out while they filmed, occasionally helping with an overhead camera angle that will spice up some of the chopping portions.

He sits next to her on the couch, and Rey wants to settle her hand on his thigh. She wants to do a lot of things, but she watches him play charades more than the actual person acting out the prompt on the iPhone. He’s got pointy teeth when he smiles and his laugh can be so soft or rip-roaring loud the drunker he gets.

Eventually, she gets up to disappear to take an Instagram story of the view from their balcony. She holds onto the railing and snaps a few photos. It’s still light out, getting lighter later and later due to their place in the hemisphere. “Doing your travel vlogger duties?” 

Ben leans in the doorway and she bites her lip as she looks back. He’s holding a Kaldi Blonde, and he takes a swig. “I thought you needed to edit for Big Dick Problems?” His podcast name makes her blush every single time, and this time is no exception.

“Touche.” Ben then steps next to her and she keeps taking photos, finally snapping the perfect one and typing in the corner:  **made it to Iceland with some of my favorite people. see you guys tomorrow!**

Then she posts it and puts her phone away, looking over at Ben while he sips his beer. “How drunk are you?”

He snorts, “Barely. Five percent beer doesn’t do shit when you drink a glass of water between each one.” So his laugh was indicative of fun? It makes her heart go all mushy.

Rey takes the beer from him and swallows a few gulps. Then she hands it back, “Do you actually have a big dick?”

He hiccups on his sip and she’s a little sorry about it. She wants to know the answer more and she gazes owlishly up at him. Then he says, “What do you consider big?”

Oh no.

“Uh, we're talking inches? Or hands?”

He inquires, “Hands?”

“Like two of my hands wrapped around a dick is a big dick. One hand? Eh.”

“It’s definitely two hands.” 

She smiles to herself at the insinuation, before she takes another swig from his beer. Then she mumbles, stepping closer and looking up, “You said over text you like it rough. Are you going to treat me rough?”

He questions, “Do you want to be treated rough?” 

She nods, “I’d like that. Here’s the thing we’re going to do.”

She looks back into the living room and says, “You’re going to give an excuse that you’re going to edit. Then after five minutes, I’ll come in.” Ben can’t help but nod. What other option does he actually have? Denying her?

That would make Rey laugh normally but she stays serious, then she opens up the door to walk back inside. Ben goes first, and announces, “I’m headed off to edit.”

Poe says, “Edit, huh?” Ben glares and then leaves the room before anyone else can say goodnight, Rey entering and staying standing as she watches Ben close the barn door. The clock ticks down and all she does is listen to the soft and sweet conversation between Jannah and Rose.

“I think walking to get a coffee tomorrow would be nice.”

Jannah nods in agreement and Rose continues, “Maybe we get coffee for everyone?”

Jannah interjects, “Nah, they have to get their lazy bones up for it. Besides, they have coffee here.” 

The conversation flows to Jannah’s channel and Rey gets up when the five minutes tick down. “I’m pretty knackered. I’m heading off to bed.” Poe gives her a look and Rey avoids his eyes. 

Finn calls, “Sleep tight.” 

Rose and Jannah say in near unison, “Goodnight Rey.” Rey pulls up her leggings so they make her ass look better, then walking out of the room and opening the barn doors to their bedroom. She steps into the lowlight, smoothing out the front of her cropped hoodie. It’s an oatmeal color, along with the bralette and panties beneath. 

Ben is stretched out on the bed in his boxer shorts, containing a bright yellow Off-White waistband. “You wear designer underwear?” Ben nods and she rolls her eyes.

“Well, I hope you like Aerie.” She then strips off her hoodie, three buns bobbing from the force. Ben sits up as she reaches back to her hair.

He says, “Let me do it.” 

She raises a brow before saying, “Alright.” Then she turns her back to him as he gets out of bed and comes up behind her. His hands are extremely and surprisingly gentle as he takes out her hair, removing each bobby pin with precision. He’s using only one hand though and she wonders what he’s doing with the other one until he grabs her ass and kneads the cheek. Then he slaps across the fabric covering her derriere, and she hops forward a little.

“Like that?”

She nods with heavy breaths, “Yeah, I like that.” 

“Good. Come back.” She does as he tells her, biting her lip and taking a deep breath while he takes out the rest of her hair, occasionally spanking across her cheeks. He gives a reason for each one.

“That’s for not telling me you were plotting something.”

“That’s for looking so fucking delectable.” 

“That’s for not waking me up to fuck you after your nap.” 

“That’s for being a good girl.” 

His hands move away from her hair and she breathes a shaky little breath as he leans over to whisper in her ear, “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll be feeling it on the snowmobile tour tomorrow.”

“Please?”

He laughs a low laugh and she turns around, forcing his hand off her ass. She places them on her hips and says, “Take off my leggings.” He rips them down her legs, leaning down as she steps out of them. Then he tosses them behind and Rey reaches down to palm the front of his boxers. 

He’s very hard and very huge against her palm. Not to mention how sculpted his body is, causing saliva to pool in her mouth. She swallows it down just in time for him to kiss her. His lips are supple and plump, teeth dragging over her lower lip as their lips lock and unlock. The kissing is soft, sweet, not at all indicative of what’s to come. 

Rey keeps stroking him through his underwear and her stomach turns like the tumble of a washer. Ben’s fingers reach down to between her legs, parting them just enough. The pads rub over the gusset and she squirms a little. Ben pulls his lips away, “Is this alright?”

She nods quickly and replies, “Yes. Of course.” Ben walks her to the bed, still rubbing between her legs and shoving her on her back onto the mattress. It’s plush, squishy as she scoots further onto the bed and gives him room to get between her legs.

He does, and her panties comes off to reveal herself to him. Rey bites down on her lip as one finger slides inside. She tightens at the intrusion before forcing herself to release her muscles. His head ducks down and his tongue flicks her clit, back arching as she whimpers. His hand spans across her belly to push her back down.

His licking and fingering continue with reckless abandon, speeding up and another finger enters the fray and slips inside like it’s got a vacation rental there. Fuck, he could own her pussy for how good this makes her feel. Ben sucks obscenely on her clit, thrusting his fingers in and out with the technique of playing a quick fiddle. 

“I think you need one more.” 

“One more?” Star systems blow across the inside of her lids and one more sounds like a challenge. A good challenge, if she can speak candidly about the present moment.

“Yeah. Make sure you’re nice and open for me.” His cock can’t be thicker than his three fingers, and if she can take this, she can take his cock. 

She breathily whispers, “Alright.” Ben smiles as he lifts his head, and the third finger slides into the neat little row. There’s a burn that subsides as quickly as it comes, and she tries to get more of him inside. 

“Greedy girl. What am I going to do with you?” 

She suggests, “Fuck me? Or maybe kiss me first.” He obliges on the second demand, fingers still moving in and out as he leans his head down, his long hair hitting her in the forehead until his lips press into hers. The kiss allows for her little moans of pleasure and satisfaction.

Rey bites his lip when she’s ready, pulling to get his attention. He raises his brow when she lets go, and she states, “I’m ready.” 

Ben sits back on his knees. “So I brought condoms-”

Rey interrupts, “We can use them if you want but I got recently tested after my last partner, and I’m on a five-year form of birth control.”

Ben nods, “Okay. I got tested after my last partner, so if you’re comfortable-”

“I’m peachy keen. Don’t make me wait too long.”

Ben smiles and parts her thighs a little more, taking off his briefs. His hard and (now confirmed) big cock bobs and he tosses the boxers off to the side. He strokes himself a few times before reaching up and trying to reach under her back to try to unclasp her bralette. Given there’s no clasp, he’s not going to get too far.

Rey says, “I can do it.” She sits up and throws off her bralette, touching her tits and rubbing her thumbs over her nipples as she lies back down. He watches her with adoration, before he lines up in missionary position, her knees up to box his torso in. 

Then he kisses her while he pushes in, her eyes lidding and then shutting as she moans. He laughs so soft, “Did that sate you?”

She nods and keeps her eyes shut. Ben starts with slow oceanlike thrusts, building his pace like building a tower. Eventually, the tower is going to have to collapse.

She’s looking forward to it. 

“Fuck you all nice and deep. Make you feel me tomorrow.”

Rey jolts and shudders as he slams into her g-spot a few times to prove his point. “You’d like that right? Getting fucked like that?”

She nods quickly, hearing the unsure tinge in his tone. Then she affirms, “Yes, I would. I really would.”

Ben swallows and keeps fucking her, faster and faster until she’s slack-jawed and the bed is shaking. He’s marking her chest, across her ribs and biting the skin to induce delicious stings of pain. He’s also looking to bruise her clearly, and she meets each of his thrusts with a little pant.

Eventually, she can’t even keep up with him as he drills into her and all resolve goes speeding on the freeway right past her. His hand slaps over her mouth to shut her moans up and he reaches down to rub her clit. He keeps thrusting throughout all of this. 

She barrels towards her release like a horse on a racetrack, running through the finish line and coming with a loud whine. Rey whimpers and twitches around him, feeling him spill hot into her. 

They both come down together, Ben pulling out his cock. He flops over to lay next to her, reaching out to card through her hair as she lays next to him. 

Ben then begins to laugh and she looks in confusion.

“Sorry, I’m just incandescently happy.”


	2. elska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gets up and walks out of the room, satisfaction painted across his face as he plops down on the massive sectional, grabbing the television remote and turning on the TV. He has his phone in his other hand and turns up the vibrator to a medium speed.
> 
> He can hear her, from the other room, go, “Oh!” 
> 
> Finn calls, “Rey, you good?” 
> 
> Rey peeks her head out, the start of a flush building on her cheeks. “I’m great!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title derived from the Icelandic translation of the verb "love"
> 
> tags  
> finn oversteps his boundaries a little  
> hickies  
> vibrator play  
> alcohol consumption

Ben was right; she would definitely feel him on the snowmobile tour of Langjökull glacier. 

She’s pulling on her snow overalls, feeling a soreness between her thighs that rivals leg day at the gym. Ben is pulling his own overalls up, sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. He looks hot in a black thermal and sweats, his snow boots matching as well. The only thing of color is the grey faux fur detailing the edges of the opening of the boots. 

Clipping the straps, Ben is struggling with his. She reaches for them, stepping up close and clipping both straps in place. Then he shrugs on his coat, a bright orange in case he falls in the snow. He looks good in color.

She shrugs on her own jacket and everyone else is getting changed in the room with them, otherwise, she’d kiss him. 

Poe is talking to Finn, “Kazuda is a pro at these tours. You’ll get insane footage. Especially with the drone.” 

Finn nods, “I hope so. Rey, who’s getting on the back with you?” 

Rey is supposed to be driving, given she’s the main focal point of the video. It’s her sponsored content after all. She looks back at Ben, who’s on his phone. “Uh,” she takes a leap, “Ben. He can drive on the way back.”

Ben perks up at this, “Have you done this before?” 

“Snowmobile?”

He nods, and she replies, “Nope.” 

Kazuda comes into the room, shorter than Ben but the same height as Poe and Finn. He puts his hands on his hips and smiles wide. “You guys ready to get out there?”

Rey nods.

Ben looks a little green.

* * *

Rey does not know what she’s doing, at first. 

She asks a lot of questions that make him wary to jump on the back of her snowmobile like some damsel in distress with James Bond. He has no choice though, so when Rey encourages for the third time like coaxing a dog, he sidles behind her.

It’s a tight fit, given he’s a tall guy, and she’s an average height. Rey calls up to Finn, who’s twisted around in his seat to film them, “Ready hotshot?” 

He nods and the snowmobile revs. Ben tries hard to think of the people he should’ve called before he did this: his mother, maybe his father by extension since they live together after the divorce, Hux to take over the podcast. All of that goes out the window when the snowmobile shoots forward and they’re off. 

Rey tries to drive the thing as even as possible but every bump across the glacier scares the living shit out of him that she will somehow flip them. Kazuda calls back, “Rey feel free to sidle up near Finn to get a shot.”

The guy is as fucking crazy as them, and Ben says, “Let’s not.” Rey doesn’t listen, getting out of line and speeding up next to Finn. She nudges him and he gives a lame wave. Finn snorts, “Try harder to be more charismatic, Ben.” 

Before Ben can say anything, Rey snaps, “He has a fucking podcast, you hide behind a camera all day.” Then she slows down to let Finn create a space between him and Rose’s snowmobiles, sliding back in and revving the engine so they push more.

He says, “Thanks for defending me.”

“He needs to stop being a dick to you.”

Kazuda calls back, “There’s a prime photo opportunity coming up!”

They need to stay focused.

* * *

The snowmobile tour is a lengthy process, but it’s worth it when they come up to an ice cave.

Kazuda stops the group, hopping off the snowmobile and calling out to them, “This is an ice cave, check it out!” Rey cuts the engine and rushes off the snowmobile, leaving Ben in the dust as she runs towards the cave in pure excitement. She can’t even begin to think about Ben, walking inside the man-made cave and looking around at all the icicles and formations. It’s all dark and deep blue as you go further, lighter whites and light blues as you enter.

It’s gorgeous and Rey asks, “Can I touch the ice?”

Kazuda smiles as he enters, “Go right ahead.” She does as she’s told and removes a glove, feeling along a stalactite of ice and giggling giddily. She continues to wander through the cave, looking around at the ice formation that Kazuda had declared man-made. She assumes all the nature created ice caves are dangerous so man made is the only way to go. 

She turns around and Ben is following her, phone poised like a camera. His cheeks and nose are red, and he lowers his phone. They’re alone, and someone could see but she doesn’t care. She smiles big and broad before stepping to him and kissing him.

The kiss is chilly but she couldn't care less.

She only wants him.

* * *

The snowmobile tour, and coming back from it, takes most of the day. 

Rey is clearly exhausted after it, given she falls asleep in the car on his shoulder in the backseat. He’s tempted to reach into the waistband of her leggings and finger her where no one can see. He’s not that bold though.

Nor is he bold enough to drag her to the bedroom, not when Finn drags her to go look at footage with a little fucking sneer sent his way. He wishes he could punch it off, but he holds back in opt of heading out onto the balcony and slumping against one window that reveals it.

It’s chilly in Iceland, even though his down jacket sits on his shoulders. Poe comes outside, and somehow there’s a joint between his fingertips. “How-”

Poe explains, “Kazuda. Why are you moping?”

He sighs and asks, “How can I express how much I’m glad I made a video about her but also how I wish her friends didn’t hate me for it?”

“Yeah, you pressed the _Rey defense squad_ button hard. But never fear, she’ll make Finn let it go.” 

Ben sighs, “I hope so because I like her.”

“God, I knew she’d have the most lethal pussy to you. It’s only fair she does.” Ben hits his arm and then steals the joint, taking a long puff and blowing out smoke. 

Poe mumbles, “She’s in your room by the way.” That makes him get up immediately, brushing off his pants and reaching up to fix his hair. Then he walks inside, heading straight for the open bedroom door, past Jannah and Finn giggling on the couch while pouring shots of Titos. Closing it behind him, his sights set on Rey.

She’s on her laptop, sitting cross-legged on the bed in an onesie. It’s a jet black, hood over her head as she types on her computer with her Airpods in. Ben shrugs off his jacket. That gets her attention.

Ben greets her with a, “Hello.”

She bites her lip and shuts her laptop, making grabby hands for him to come closer. Ben resists, wanting to tease. Giving her what she wants is not the fun part of the game. 

She pouts and finally says, “Please?” The way her lips wrap around the word inspires an idea. Maybe not a wonderful one, but it’s still an idea. Ben walks to his luggage. 

In preparing for Iceland, he bought a few toys. Sex toys of course, what else would they both have fun with? He grabs the Bluetooth vibrator, still in its small box. He used someone’s sponsorship code to get this off Adam and Eve so he hopes it's worth it. He holds the box out for her to look at, and she visibly gulps.

“I’m thinking we go out into the living room, you wearing that, and just see what happens.”

Is it kinky?

Yes.

Is it crazy?

Absolutely.

Could they get caught?

You know it.

None of that even registers as something to care about in Ben’s mind though, too lost in the way she reaches for her front zipper and unzips it to reveal her beautiful and lithe body. Then she scoots everything down her legs, spreading them wide.

She whispers, “Do your worst.”

Ben tears open the box and removes the vibrator, turning it on to pair with his phone and the app he already downloaded on the plane. The process is quick and easy thank god, no instructions required. It pairs with two vibrations and he holds it out to her.

She’s sheepish, “I want you to do it.”

He swallows, and he looks down at the fact that she’s sans underwear. Then he sits on the bed and holds her legs open, sliding the vibrator so the tendril rests on her clit. Once everything is secure, and it will not dislodge, he tests it out.

She goes rigid, gripping his wrist where his hand holds her knee. He immediately kills the vibration and says, “You will have to be stealthier than that. I’ll be out there.”

He gets up and walks out of the room, satisfaction painted across his face as he plops down on the massive sectional, grabbing the television remote and turning on the TV. He has his phone in his other hand and turns up the vibrator to a medium speed.

He can hear her, from the other room, go, “Oh!” 

Finn calls, “Rey, you good?” 

Rey peeks her head out, the start of a flush building on her cheeks. “I’m great!”

He smirks and turns off the vibrator, watching her relax. Then Rey steps out into the room and Finn looks over at Ben. “So Ben.”

Here they go. Ben knows for a fact that he’s being a fucking dom right now, so no one can phase him. “Yeah?”

“You write music?”

Rey sits next to him and it takes everything inside not to grab her hand and kiss it. “Yeah, Hux and I write raps. We recently came out with a song called Walk Man.”

She stretches out, and he wishes he could watch her pussy flutter around the vibe. “Rap, huh?”

“I mean we’re two white guys but I guess you can call it that.” 

Finn nods and Jannah says, “I have an idea.” She’s editing on her laptop, drunk as can be off of two Tito's shots, probably.

Finn asks, “What?” 

Rose and Poe are coming downstairs, and Jannah hops up, “Never have I ever.” 

Rose immediately says, “Down.” 

Poe interjects, “Isn’t that middle school of us?” 

Finn snorts, “So what?”

Ben knows this will go very, terrible.

But with Rey’s little secret controlled by him, maybe things won’t be so hellish.

* * *

Never have I ever starts innocuously at first.

Ben makes the beginning exciting with vibrations that make her bite her lip and shift every which way. They also all do vodka shots that burn, even Ben. The vodka makes her brain loosen up and overall demeanor relax, sitting cushy on the couch with a blanket over her as they play. 

Finn states, rubbing his hands together, “All right. Never have I ever...said an ‘I love you’ without feeling it.”

Rey notes Ben puts no fingers down, and he looks a little uncomfortable with the notion. She can’t imagine not loving someone for the right reasons either. Then he reaches for his phone, turning on the vibrator and making her legs press together. It vibrates on her clit, and she tugs her lip between her teeth.

She wants to be closer to Ben; she wants to be in his lap and against his lips. Finn nudges Poe and then whispers in his ear. Ben looks over at her, watching her. Poe then clears his throat, “Never have I ever kissed Ben Solo.” 

She blanks. Ben snaps his head to Poe, and she finds that her finger is going down without her letting it.

Finn’s eyes widen and she stares him straight in the face. Rose and Jannah look between each other and giggle. “Multiple times, actually. Is there a problem?”

Finn asks, stunned senseless, “Did you two…”

Rey shrugs, “I don’t see how that’s your business.”

_ It’s not like,  _ she wants to laugh at herself,  _ he’s pleasuring me right now or anything. _

Ben hops up off the couch, “I’m headed to bed. I’m wiped.”

Finn glares at him, “You think you can just fuck my best friend after making fun of her to the entire internet?”

Ben stops, and she sees his fist tighten. Rey hops up, ready to throw herself between them just in case shit gets ugly. “She’s a big girl, she can make her own choices. Right, Rey?”

Rey interjects, “He’s right, and honestly, I’m ready to go to bed too.” 

Finn snaps, “We are fucking talking about this.”

Rey rolls her eyes and Ben storms into the bedroom, but he calls behind him, “Put your ear against the door if you want to hear us fucking, you absolute asshole.” She winces at that and follows Ben, closing the barn door and turning to stare at him as he paces the room with his head in his hands.

“Ben-”

“Rey, are you bothered by the videos I made about you? Is he right?”

Rey sits down on the bed and lays it all out with a small voice, “Well, I was at first. While my skin is thick, it’s not the thickest. I had to disable comments on certain videos and stuff, but then I realized that like...you’re a comedian. Sure, I was caught in the crossfire of your humor but you’ve been so nice to me since that. I can’t ignore that.”

Ben kneels down in front of her. “I apologize for bringing hate to your doorstep, but if it helps, I’m understanding this lifestyle.”

She snorts, “Traveling all the time? Living your day online?” 

He nods, “It’s addictive. But I worry about the access people have to you.” 

She sighs and then lays back to stare at the ceiling, and Ben continues, “You’re setting yourself up for intruders.”

Rey closes her eyes, “The attention feeds me. I don’t know if you understand-”

He recovers, “I understand. We’re all performers. You sell the dream life, I podcast and make fun of people.”

She raises her brows, “The dream life?” 

“You know, traveling all the time, hot friends, having a perfect body. Need I say more?” She nods and sits up, staring up at him, straight in the face.

“Do you want to keep talking about our rocky beginnings and careers? Or do you want to fuck me?” 

Ben, who’s standing, looms over her in silence. 

Then he slides the phone out of his pocket, opening up the app and dialing the vibrator up enough to make her jaw set and her teeth threaten to chatter.

“I think that’ll do.” 

* * *

The next day starts awkward but uneventful. 

Ben knows he’s now the evil guy and takes his breakfast in their room, the bowl of oatmeal threatening to break in an iron grip. He just can’t deal with Finn’s glaring or judgment, especially at the hickeys and bruises all over his neck.

Rey is a biter when she’s upset. He learned it the hard way, but hell, can he really blame her?

She’s asleep in the bed, laptop open on the ground, an ASMR Youtuber on the screen. He fell asleep first, after editing a little more onto the vlog he’s making about this trip. Sure, they’re brief clips on his phone, hiding Rey from existence. But last night, he added the video of her stepping around the ice cave in her big orange puffer coat. That’ll start some rumors for sure, more than their escapades and indirects have contributed. 

Most subscribers argue that they’re platonic, but there’s a small subsection right on target with the assessment that they’ve got something going on.

He shovels oatmeal into his mouth, clearing the bowl before getting up and brushing his teeth in the en-suite bathroom. 

That’s when he wakes Rey up, hand settling on her shoulder and shaking her until her eyes flutter open. She looks confused by it but handles it with grace, smacking her lips and sitting up.

“How long did I sleep?” 

He remarks, “It’s about ten. I would make you breakfast but I have no idea what you want.” 

She yawns and replies, “That’s okay.” Ben stands up, biting his lip and watching her wake up with a shake of her hair. 

“We don’t have a hot springs slot until tonight, right?”

Rey nods and brushes her hair out of her face, “Yeah. It will be great, I already have my bikini picked out.” 

He raises his eyebrows, “Can I see it?” 

Rey gets out of the bed, shuffling to her suitcase and plucking out the bright white two-piece. The top is like a sports bra, and she tosses it on the bed. “The bottoms are the best part.”

“Yeah? How so-”

Rey turns them around to show the thong back and his eyes widen. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” 

She looks so smug and Ben knows that this is why women are from Venus supposedly: they thrive on the beautiful aesthetic. “I’ll need you to take Instagram pictures of me you know.”

Ben salivates slightly, wiping his mouth self-consciously before laughing nervously. “Yeah, yeah. I can do that.”

“I expect you to take them too.”

“Okay, maybe not that.”

* * *

Rey normally isn’t self-conscious, especially with her body. She goes to the gym five days a week, Iceland being her reprieve. 

But with the love bites bitten into her hips, thankfully covered by the high-waisted nature of the bottoms of the suit, she’s got little secrets that won’t be so secret if the suit rolls or slips. 

The thong is right up her ass though, and she shivers in the towel wrapped around her while they wait for their entire party to get to the hot springs. Canon paid out the ass to get the Blue Lagoon to themselves, the resort letting them in after closing for about an hour and a half. 

Steam rises off the creamy blue-white water. Ben steps up next to her, still wearing his shirt. She wants to yank it over his head and pull him into the water. She reaches back to touch her three buns instead, then noticing Finn fiddling with the camera and filming the two of them.

Rey takes a chance: she hops on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around Ben’s neck and pulling his face down for their lips to meet. Brawny forearms come to wrap around her, and her body contorts into the kiss.

Ben lets her go, and she takes that as a signal to give him space to breathe. Finn is glaring at them, and Rey takes a moment to flash him a grin that signifies,  _ “I like him, he’s mine.”  _

She’s a succubus who has found her victim, not Ben being a Hades and she a Persephone. Ben has done nothing wrong that he hasn’t apologized for. “Are you fuckers going to get in?” Poe is walking past them and into the hot springs, letting out an  _ ah _ of satisfaction. Ben looks at the water, then her. Then he’s grabbing under her thighs and picking her up into a bridal carry. 

She kicks her legs, “I can do this part myself.” 

“Yeah, I don’t care.” 

He wades into the water. “Is that bikini double lined?”

She confesses, “I’m not sure, why do you ask?”

“Because it’s about to be a fucking skin show like none other if it isn’t.”

She quips, “Scared of nipples, Ben?”

He gently sets her in waist-deep steamy water, Rey shivering slightly from the top up at the sudden temperature change on her lower half. Rey then blushes deep. “Pictures, please?”

Ben nods, and Rey wades to where her phone lies on the edge, in a waterproof case. She hands it to Ben, and he opens up the camera app. Rey poses, turning her ass to the camera and peeking over her shoulder. Luckily the bikini isn’t see-through, so she won’t scandalize her entire audience.

Ben snaps pictures of her, Rey turning around and showing off her toned front to the world. “Beautiful.”

“Yeah?”

Ben replies, “Oh yeah.” 

Rey calls, “Poe come and take photos of us.”

Ben asks, “Us?” Poe plucks the phone from his grip and Rey holds out her hand. 

She encourages, “Come here.” Ben wades over to her, and Rey pulls on the hem of his tee.

“Oh no, god no.”

She giggles and yanks it over his head anyway, revealing a landing strip of hickies down to the waistband of his shorts (her work). Poe screams in laughter, and Ben turns beet red.

Rey remarks, “I’ll Facetune them out. Or Finn can photoshop them fully if you want the utmost detail.” Ben scowls at her, before Poe clicks his tongue like a Sears photographer at a baby. They both take the bait and focus on the camera, Rey blindly tossing the shirt onto the edge behind them. 

They take a lot of pictures, and Ben melts beneath the camera into a rapper sort of scowl as he holds her close. “Smile, stupid.”

“I hate my teeth.” 

She rolls her eyes and watches him look over at her, leaning his head down and kissing her softly. His tongue slips into her mouth to tangle up with hers, before she pulls away and presses a kiss to the bridge of his nose.

Poe says, “Those are hot, but probably not Instagram appropriate given that Rey’s entire ass is out.” 

Rey shrugs, “People have done worse on Instagram. Those photos are more for me though.” Maybe she’ll make it her background, and she takes her phone back from Poe to flip through the photos. 

They look like what any couple would turn out, two desirable people. Their size difference is so noticeable on camera, but the way Ben shrinks for her when they kiss is more than desirable. 

He’s everything she wants.

* * *

Finn takes her picture for an Icelandic beer company, Rey holding a bottle and posing like an Instagram model.

This is the high life that he’s never been privy to, watching a girl strut her stuff and sell beer like no one’s business. Not to mention the heat from the Lagoon, how she hightails it over to him whenever she has a free moment. 

Ben might love her.

That’s a little weird to realize, standing in the shower in their en-suite bathroom and listening to her use the hair dryer. He has to hunch a little to get under the spray but he’s washed his hair, shaved his face, and also shaved his balls. He’s waiting for his conditioner to sit in his hair for the recommended three minutes, soap dripping off his body in the spray as he thinks hard.

Does he love Rey? That question is hard, harder than he thought it would be. He’s thought he’s loved many women in the past, but that love always went fickle because of heartbreak or his own design. He holds onto the feelings because they mean so much to him, but not address it until further. There’s no use in falling in love hard and fast.

He washes the conditioner out, pressing his hair of water and refocusing on getting out of the shower, turning it off on his way out. Rey is still drying her hair as he steps out and she smiles at him. “Hey.” 

He greets, “Hey.” Then he steps up to the double vanity and leans to inspect his face in the mirror. Sometimes he feels too much guilt for not looking like the best man in the world. His nose is too big, eyes too dark, lips too plush. He feels too feminine with his features sometimes, and he swallows.

Rey is watching him. Then she asks, “Can you fuck me tonight?” 

He asks, “Would I not?” 

She shrugs, turning off the dryer and setting it down before unplugging it. It’s one of those fancy Dyson dryers he’s been coveting, probably given through a sponsorship. Rey’s life is a beautiful curation of an existence and he can’t help but be jealous. 

Rey then puts her dryer away and looks back at Ben. “Can we talk about something?”

He nods and takes both of her hands, listening intently as she bites her lip before saying, “So Vidcon is coming up-“

“Yes, you can fuck other people, I’m not going.” Ben isn’t stupid, he’s heard that Vidcon is the place where Youtubers rail more fans and other YouTubers per capita than any other YouTube convention.

“Oh uh, I don’t exactly want to fuck other people, Ben. I was more hoping you were going.”

Why would she want him to go? “You make me feel safe and stuff and enormous events make me a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” She smiles sheepishly after her answer and he wants to now. Vidcon couldn’t be that bad right? 

He regretfully says, “I don’t have a featured creator pass. They offered my management team one-“ 

“Rose has one she’s willing to give up. Vidcon really isn’t her speed, you know?” 

Ben takes a deep breath and she whispers, “We can stay in the same hotel room, I promise.”

Then she says, “As long as you attend my panel.” 

Ben asks, “What’s it on?”

“Being a woman on YouTube. I think you’ll find it illuminating.”

Perhaps he will. He nods and smiles at her, “All right, let me call my management.”

* * *

Ben gets his management on the phone in an hour, despite Icelandic time. 

He leaves the room for the conversation, and she gets it in case they say he can’t go.

He comes back after fifteen minutes though, giving her a single thumbs up and launching into sex that further bruises each other.

Rey is feeling it at the club in Reykjavik, drunk as can be and moving her body to the beat with Rose and Jannah. These are the moments they don’t film, besides taking a sloppy-looking Instagram story of her kissing Jannah on the cheek. She’s sweaty and probably gross, Ben holding her jacket for her on the edge of the dance floor.

His eyes are only trained on her, almost like he’s watching her in case anyone tries to swoop in and capture her attention. Rey just keeps dancing and drinking, and eventually she finds herself a little woozy from all the alcohol. Striding over to him, Ben looks down at her while holding her close.

“Can we get some air?”

Ben nods, and they both have wristbands so it’s easy to get back into the club, and they take their leave. They’re only a very tempting ten-minute walk from their lodgings, and she walks outside into the chill with him.

“Want your jacket?”

Rey shakes her head, “I just want you.”

Maybe that’s bold to say while wasted but she doesn’t care, stepping closer to him. Ben holds out her jacket to her and Rey shrugs it on, wrapping up in the puffer coat. She then kisses him, dragging his head down so their lips can meet. 

He pulls away before she can shove her tongue in his mouth, his hand combing through her hair carefully and rising to full height. “We can go home.”

Now that’s tempting. Ben raises his eyebrows and asks, “Want to do that? We could get a head start on walking.”

She replies, “I need to tell my friends.” Ben nods, and she starts for the inside.

He stops her by grabbing her arm. “Stay here, I’ll go tell them-”

“Finn won’t believe you. It’s better if I do it.” 

Ben holds up his hands and Rey re-enters the club, making a beeline for their group. Rose beams, “Oh Rey, I have a shot for you.” Rey looks at the clear shot with lime and shudders.

She talks directly to Poe instead, “Ben and I are heading back. Make sure everyone is safe.”

“No shit Sherlock. Take your shot and go pretty girl.” Rey feels good in this dress, a black long-sleeved mini dress with an off the shoulder cut. It shows off her body under the puffer coat. She turns back to Rose, quickly picking up the shot glass and downing it. She plucks the lime off the plate and bites into it, hightailing it away.

She breaks out of the club and spots Ben. Smoothing out her front, skipping despite her black strappy heels. She stops in front of him and says, “Ready.”

“Did you drink more in there?” 

Rey shrugs, “Perhaps. Come on.” Ben holds out his hand, and she takes it carefully, starting to walk with him.

Her feet really hurt, and she slows. He slows too and watches her take off her shoes. “Sweetheart, no.” 

“Do you have any other suggestions? My feet hurt.” 

He shakes his head and says, “I could carry you.” She shakes his head, but he ignores it, reaching under her thighs and lifting her up. She squeals, kicking her legs in the bridal carry but nuzzling close to his chest. 

The walk is brief with him carrying her, and he lets her down only at the door to the apartment. She fishes out the keys and unlocks the door, stepping inside and throwing her shoes aside to walk to their bedroom. Ben follows close behind and Rey turns around while getting undressed. 

“I’ll get you some water.”

She nods gratefully and Ben leaves the room, leather jacket squeaking on his shoulders. The black dress comes off, leaving her in just a black thong and no bra. She ruffles her hair, pulling them out of their buns and beginning to brush out her tresses when Ben comes back into the room.

He sets water on her nightstand and then comes into view of the bathroom mirror where she’s poised. “I’m getting ready for bed.”

She replies, “Good. Me too honestly.” She needs to wash her face, and she’s picking up a headband to pull her hair back. 

Washing her face and taking care of her skin comes easy, and Ben steps up to the other vanity to do his own routine. She rubs in her lotion and sprays her face down with rosewater spray. She loves glowing in the mornings. Then she brushes her teeth, throws on lip balm across her lips, and feels infinitely more human rather than drunk. She then slides off her thong, checking herself out in the mirror, not even caring that Ben is watching with a slack jaw.

She then struts out of the bathroom, flinging the thong into the dirty clothes pile and rifling through her suitcase for a tee. An idea sparks and she asks, “Can I wear your shirt?” 

He looks back, brushing his teeth while nodding. She moves to rifle through his open suitcase, hands stumbling on a glass dildo with a little heart handle. Ben is still brushing his teeth and Rey looks back at him before back at the dildo. She plucks it out along with a basic black tee, slipping the fabric over her head. She stows the dildo beneath her pillow and lays down in bed. 

Ben comes back to bed after turning off the bathroom light, naked as can be. His cock always takes her breath away, and this is no exception, watching him pull on a fresh pair of briefs and tuck himself to the right. She reaches under her pillow and watches intently for the moment to spring. 

He gets into bed and sighs heavily. Rey pulls out the dildo and holds it in front of his face. “What’s this for?”

He hums, not surprised she went snooping, “Just in case I finish before you and you’re craving penetration still.” She nods and still peers at it. 

“Can I use it?”

“You can keep it.”

She smiles wide and says, “I don’t think it’ll be the same.”

“You can pretend, but I’ll always be around to sate you.” 

She hopes so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so i expanded this, which is just not something i should be doing but whatever. get ready for more fun with these guys.
> 
> [snowmobile tour](https://www.extremeiceland.is/en/activity-tours-iceland/snowmobile-iceland/snowmobile-tour)   
>  [ice cave example](https://guidetoiceland.is/connect-with-locals/regina/an-awesome-ice-cave-tour-in-langjokull---into-the-glacier)   
>  [rey's club dress](https://www.hellomolly.com/us/dresses/bodycon/stranger-tides-knit-dress-black.html)

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> work title is inspired by ["sick boy" by the chainsmokers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjZuxJ3o_TQ)
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["929" by halsey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLw90Ofj5mw)
> 
> [rey's luggage (ben's too in black)](https://www.awaytravel.com/suitcases/bigger-carry-on/sand)   
>  [the airbnb](https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/38162855?location=Reykjav%C3%ADk%2C%20Iceland&adults=6&check_in=2020-06-01&check_out=2020-06-09&source_impression_id=p3_1585071593_f%2BHmyWQVMhntFyTA)   
>  [esja mountain](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=esja+mountain)   
>  [faxafloi bay](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=faxafloi+bay)   
>  [a sneak peek at some of what our fave gang might be doing](https://guidetoiceland.is/nature-info/iceland-in-may)


End file.
